Building Feminity from Ground-up

Hi angels, ✨

I recently received serious inquiries about my writings on growing into a feminine woman.

I asked myself the same question. The answer is simple - Be A Woman That You Can Be Proud of First.

So here are a series of things I’m teaching myself (and maybe you can relate) to be THAT girl! 💁‍♀️

Coming Out of Teenage Tendencies

Shocker?😲 But I couldn’t emphasize this ENOUGH. I have changed my ways since high school, sure. I even changed my official name as a mark of turning a new page in my life, but the unhealed, unresolved parts of my personality percolated through.They showed their ugly face in ALL times that mattered.

Healing 🧘‍♀️

I thought that Healing = Acknowledgment of what went down in history. And then moving on in life, with a “it happened, now F*ck it and move on” attitude.

I read in a book that Nostalgia from the past is a cancer to the future. And that became my motto.

But the truth is, that Healing ≠ being positive and seemingly happy. Healing doesn’t mean burying. It’s about opening your heart to feeling all your emotionsand expanding deeper into them.

So my oath away from Nostalgia was all bull crap.

Stop Pretending 🎭

In South Asian societies especially, or Brown households, you are forbidden to show your true emotions to anything. You can, but only to the extent that you are not “disrespectful,” “rude” or just too dramatic. It is a general expectation of society to be on our best behavior like nothing can faze us.

To truly embrace the feminine in you, stop pretending. Open your heart, show your emotions, be dramatic, expressive, anything! But be true to YOU. ❤️

Make a Serious Overture of Peace within You ☮️

That damp feeling of guilt and shame from the past is never gonna go away until you stop being at war within yourself.

Until you stop playing the character you had built to protect

yourself from society,

your dignity, respect,

your social status and the list goes on…

That character was probably a necessity at that time; it was a result of a fight or flight situation.

But now you’re safe! You are allowed to Change!

You’re allowed to ReBrand 🌟

If you’re like me, someone who went ten steps ahead to really fortify the character she was playing, you’ve probably had moments of validating your ways in life.

For example, if you now believe in religion, you’ll suddenly invalidate those who aren’t religious enough.

Or, if you now think eating animals is a sin, you’ll speak in condescending tones with those who do.

It’s like when you enter a cult, you become a try-hard in adopting all the characteristics of its members until you stop being You. You also become highly defensive, Righteous, and Holier Than Thou.

…And I am here to tell you, You Can Turn All That Around!You are ALLOWED to leave old ways.

I wish someone had told me this.

That I can constantly change as I learn new information about the world and grow.

Shed Your Layers 🦋

The final step in becoming the woman you’re proud of is - being Authentic.

Being truly unafraid of what’s anyone gonna think and say. Hell, you don’t owe anyone anything!

Girl, pop the bubble you’ve created around you - andBreathe again!

Love,

Zitni Zun 💕