Stay You, Stay True: Relationship Non-Negotiables

Hi, My Loves!

One thing that helps a woman maintain her sanity is her individuality. 💫

The essence of a person lies in how they live, what they think, what they believe in, and how they spend their time. Unfortunately, society often expects women to lose their individuality in relationships—to prioritize their partner’s needs above their own. We are programmed to sacrifice what makes us us.

It’s a common cycle, and it goes like this:

👉 A man falls for a woman with main-character energy—he loves her confidence, her unique style, her passion for life.
👉 They fall in love. 💕
👉 She starts going out of her way to fulfill his needs.
👉 Over time, this becomes an everyday expectation because she has allowed it.
👉 She slowly loses her aura, femininity, ideas, and essence.
👉 She stops caring about herself the way she used to.
👉 One day, she looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize herself anymore.
👉 She resents herself, doubts herself, and loses confidence.
👉 He, in turn, loses attraction because she is no longer the person he initially fell for.
👉 She becomes bitter towards him. 😞

Phew! That was a long sequence—but a very real one. This pattern plays out in so many relationships.

This is exactly why a woman must have non-negotiables. She must lay down ground rules from the start. She also has to be authentic, not just show the most appealing parts of herself in the beginning—because setting false expectations can be harmful later on.

Why Non-Negotiables Matter 💡

• They prevent emotional exhaustion and loss of identity.

• They ensure mutual respect in the relationship.

• They help maintain attraction and balance over time.

Your Relationship Should Never: ❌

• Make you feel like a chore.

• Drain your energy or cause anxiety.

• Force you to compromise your fundamental values.

• Make you feel afraid to express your thoughts.

• Require you to give up your dreams and ambitions.

How to NOT Lose Yourself in a Relationship 💖

✅ Maintain Yourself – Keep up with your hobbies, passions, and career goals. Never let them fade away for the sake of your partner.

✅ Make Your Own Decisions – Prioritize yourself in decision-making most of the time. Avoid putting off decision-making for the sake of your partner.

✅ Core Beliefs Matter – Choose someone whose values align with yours so you don’t feel forced to change yourself.

✅ Spiritual/Religious Alignment – Similarly, your spiritual beliefs should also align because you can’t have two parallel belief systems in the house.

✅ Domestic Expectations – Will your partner give you a helping hand without asking?

✅ No Tolerance for Bad Behavior – Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and neglect have no place in love.

✅ Having Clear Boundaries – and creating a safe space to communicate them.

✅ Exercise Free Will – Being in a relationship does not mean your partner gets to control your thoughts, actions, or choices.

✅ Don’t Isolate from Friends and Family – Our close relations know us intimately; sometimes they can help in ways that our partner can’t.

Remember: You Are the SUN ☀️

You don’t need to revolve around anyone—not even your partner. A relationship should be mutual, equal, and balanced. You can assist and support each other, but you are still two separate people. So act like it! 💃✨

So, ladies, let’s reclaim our Main Character Energy and never stop being the enigma that captivated our partners on Day 1. 💖

With Love,
Zitni Zun